Thursday, March 1, 2012

Birthday Month

Hey Rem's

It's almost your 3rd birthday!! 12 more days... I can't believe it has been 3 years already. There is so much that you know, that we don't know about yet.

When you were in your mommy's belly I was just a young kid back then. I was 20 years old. I know that sounds really old to you, but to me that is young. I had just met this really nice guy who eventually wanted to marry me. I was a junior in college living in BG, (away from all of our family). After you were born I felt like I grew up. I matured into the woman I am today. You helped me become ME! Ross and I were going to give blood for some free ice cream and a free Tshirt when Popeye called me. He had this sound in his voice that I knew something was wrong. I knew he wasn't even supposed to be in the United States at the time so to have him call me was weird. He had told me that your mommy and daddy got some news about you being a very very special baby and that everyone was at your house with them. We hung up and I just looked at Ross and at that point the free ice cream and Tshirt didn't matter to us anymore. We drove home to Swanton to be with family. I never felt so alone living 30 minutes away. I just wanted to be with my brother who had been there for me my entire life.

The next few months were a blur because we just wanted you to get here so badly. Finally, I got the call, "She's a birthday, She's a Beauty, She's a birthday beauty beauty beauty beau...."-your daddy. Which I still have saved on my phone. You were here! Your dad was right- You were a BEAUTY. I was so proud to be your Auntie. I thought about all the things I would teach you and all the things that you would teach me. Because we all know you would teach me more than I could ever teach you.

After you were back at home and what we thought was safe and sound. I went back to school. I then got that dreaded phone call again. Same weary eery voice. I knew it was time for me to pack up my bags again and make that drive up Kellogg road to Swanton. I wrote an email to my professors telling them the story. They all understood and told me not to worry.
When I was in my car driving to the hospital Gabba sue called me. She said, "Ben says to drive carefully and take your time. We'll see you when you get here." I hung up and thought to myself. Why was he thinking of me? Why did he think to have Gabba call me to say that. Your daddy had so much other things to think about and much more important issues to worry about. BUT that is your daddy. You have the best daddy you could have ever picked. He puts others first. He doesn't want people to feel sorry for him. He wants others to be safe so that your auntie can make it to read your final lullaby to you, while your angel friends take you to God's pearly white gates.

Your mommy and daddy are the two of the strongest people I know. They are going not going to be happy when I say this because they do not want sympathy from others. They are not the type of people to do the woe is me which makes me look up to the both of them even more. I don't know anyone else who could have been through what they went through and still love each other the same (even more than they did when they first met). Your mommy and daddy were strong enough to keep the rest of us stable. Which it should have been the other way around. I was ready to be the strong one. I was ready to be on call in the middle of the night just in case your daddy needed to talk or have me come over. But they didn't need me. They were the glue that held us all together. But in reality YOU were the glue. You kept us going. We knew you were watching and we knew we had to spread your wings and words to get others to understand your messages.

This theory of strength was proven again with your little brother recently. I know you know all about it;) Popeye, Aunt Leigh Leigh, Aunt Lori, Cousin Tyler and myself were all sitting at the very same hospital that you were born and where you left us eating at the cafeteria visiting Bubbe. Popeye tried explaining your little brothers situation to Tyler when Popeye couldn't finish his sentence. Let's see if you can finish it. It went like this; "There are 2 people who are not here right now because they have to be home whom are some of the ........" (strongest people we know). Popeye was right. We all knew it. Through the tears in our eyes in the very same cafeteria you were there. I could feel you in the silence as we all tried keeping our composure. You have changed our lives from a million light years away. Your daddy has always been fascinated with space and atmosphere, now you have your own shining star!

I wanted to share some things with you because I know you check on this blog every so often. I will wish you a happy birthday in a couple days.

Keep shining on us and we will continue to keep you alive in our hearts,
Love you Remi,

Love Auntie Ashie

I think that you are shining in the middle window ---->

<-----You were with me by my heart the entire day!
-My special Angel Flower Girl

1 comment:

  1. Auntie purple,
    It took me seven days to read this. Not due to length but emotion. 1 day for every paragraph is all I could handle. It is very nice to see people still remember as vividly as Amy and I do, that short but ever lasting period of time.
    The fact that I did not call in the middle of the night did not mean that I didn't need you. Every call, txt, email, or FB from you is what kept me going. Trust me when I say this it would have been easier to shut off from the world. You helped me by being you. No one should have to go through that but if they do, I hope they have an Auntie Purple to count on.
    The day of your wedding I saw those elegant beams of light flooding the windows and I knew that was Remi. I didn't want to say anything to you about it because I didn't want to make your day about her. But as always you saw it too. What we have to remember is no matter what the occasion she will be there to show support for us as we showed support for her. I still remember plain as day every ones last good-bye to Remi in her hospital bed. Of all of them I remember yours the most. We were all in the room. Everyone waiting to say their goodbye. You went first. You bent over and said your goodbye. When you were done and the next person was stepping in. I said "remember, not a lot of people get to say a last goodbye, so take your time." You perked up and said, "Oh geeze, I want to go again." You ended up getting to say two good byes when in reality you didn’t need to say anything at all, she knew you were there, and we knew you were there.